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 Post subject: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:52 pm 
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Paradise sent me a copy of her guide. Here it is for all to enjoy! Knowledge IS power!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:58 pm 
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Quote:
Additionally, this document is strictly prohibited to be displayed at QuakeOne.com and
any future erected ventures consisting of its team of current Administrators and future ones until I am permanently unbanned there, their future websites and without my written expressed consent.


I'll probably read this once I'm done laughing to death :D hahaha

She was a decent RuneQuake player, a horrible CA player and every time I seen her on CTF she was usually around 5th on the scoreboards.

Honestly, I'm glad she was banned from Quakeone.com and left runecentral.com, I just wish I would stop seeing remnants of her. Quakeone.com has become a MUCH more enjoyable place where people can have intellectual conversions without having her jump in and push her opinions and thought onto people in which he has no business, then say she has the permission from God to talkshit.Permission from God to talkshit? w..t..f..?

She thinks she is as good as Thresh was in that time period. But if Thresh stepped foot on a Quake 1 server today he would quickly learn how advanced some of the players have become.

I also notice how she didn't mention Quakeone.com in her credits and specifically said "This guide cannot be poste don quakeone.com" heh, that's grudgy!

Thresh wrote a guide because people thought he was elite in his time, not because he thought he was elite.


After reading this "guide" I've come to the conclusion that is is without a doubt... CRAP.. it is a single user's view on how to play quake for the most part and doesn't say anything that hasn't been said thousands of times before.

Skip this guide and just visit Thresh's Quake Bible http://www.quaketerminus.com/dmtips.htm.

Paradise is an idiot.

Slot Zero, Make it stop!

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:40 am 
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Phenom wrote:
Slot Zero, Make it stop!


I think Slot did this as a disruptive mental blast attack on Scoffer.

Scoffer saw this guide and vomited and got severe headaches.


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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:51 am 
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Scoffer can't read more than two sentences at a time, so expect a response after a month.

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:58 am 
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Baker wrote:
Phenom wrote:
Slot Zero, Make it stop!


I think Slot did this as a disruptive mental blast attack on Scoffer.

Scoffer saw this guide and vomited and got severe headaches.


Zop wrote:
Scoffer can't read more than two sentences at a time, so expect a response after a month.


HAHAHA :D

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:17 am 
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Heres the nutshell version for Scoffer..

Paradise says:
______________________________________

Heres my guide

*Warning I'm banned at quakeone.com so don't share this with them!*

Here's my secrets! listen up soldiers!
get a chair like mine, sit like I do in an upright position with your back at a 90 degree angle, dim your lights. Everyone learns the best when they do everything I say, Don't forget to eat, sleep and or bathe.

Oh yea btw here's a real guide that a real badass Quaker made called Thresh's Bible.

TEH END!
______________________________________


This is to me sounding like a lot of trivial bullshit honestly, who is she to say what type of light people like to play their favorite game in? Or how to sit? Maybe some people don't give a crap about posture, seriously, I'm a 3 finger typer, that doesn't mean I can't type, it means I use my own method of typing because I've adapted my own method of doing shit, I can type normally I chose not to, I don't make guides on how to three finger type because its a waist of fuck time.

Her guide has very little compatible features considering the world of stragety and most of the guide is how to paint your nails. Thresh's guide is about ingame mechanics and how to control situations.

Quote:
Always remain calm and have a cool head while decimating your opponent. Remember that you are not really there and you never can get physically hurt - therefore do not panic. This is just a game, like any other, therefore treat it that way. :)


Are you fucking kidding me? When was the last time you played a game and screamed out "OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M BURNING ALIVE IN LAVA PIT!!!"? People have common sense to not think games let alone Quake 1 is a real thing. This is just one instance in this guide that is completely 100% bullshit.

WHY WAS THIS GUIDE MADE?

I'm not directly attacking Paradise because theres no point in arguing with a complete idiot, but her spiffy little guide is barely worthy for a first time gamer.

almost every other guide I have seen has a third person aspect to the guide, this is the first guide that blatantly says "Do things my way and you will get better" when she gets constantly whopped on a server with much higher skill levels then what she is use to.

Also I guess it wouldn't have effected me to much if this guide wasn't to loosely tied to Quake 1. If it were "Paradise's RuneQuake Guide" That would have flown as its common knowledge RuneQuakers tend to not be as high oh caliber as CA'ers, DM'ers or the well grounded DM'ers.

This guide should have been better though through before publishing it and its a stain where ever it is posted.

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:45 am 
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Actually, I take back my complaints about the guide. I agree there is not useful information in it for the most part.

But what I like about the guide is that is very "human". Admittedly, there isn't a lot of useful information in it. But I actually enjoyed reading it. Most guides are boring lists of things to type in a console.

I think I will have fun referring Scoffer to this guide in the future. That use alone makes it GOLD.


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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:33 am 
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Baker wrote:
But what I like about the guide is that is very "human". Admittedly, there isn't a lot of useful information in it. But I actually enjoyed reading it.


For some reason when you said this I pictured "Martha Stewarts's Quake Guide :D or "Bob Ross's Quake guide" lol

If this guide is meant to be a joke then I suppose its at least allowing me to laugh knowing Scoffer will be painfully vomiting :P

When I start getting called a bot or a cheater on a server, I usually find a higher skilled server to play on, not stay on the same server and own noobs for a ego boost heh

On another leaf...
Paradise making a Quake guide... Uhm... ok... I'm still having a difficult time believing this is not a joke :D I've personally beatn this player and I eventually stopped trying dew to her complete poor movement skills in Quake. She obviously cannot get over her "RuneQuake" abilities, doesn't watch her back, doesn't listen to sounds like a proper champ should, and can be easily fooled into running into rockets.. I just find it pathetic that this type of player believes they have the nuts to act as if they are a "Thresh" of Quake guides.. Thresh sucks at Quake now he stopped playing years ago that does something to skills :) I'm also betting that the general and obvious things can still be said about Quake 1 game play, but the mentality of it has changed since 1996-1997. Almost every single player uses the mouse or equivalent instead of keyboard, most know how to customize their Quake clients to their liking and if the majority of Quakers don't know every single map inside and out by now then you must be doing something wrong.

I know I'm being an asshole about this but seriously... I don't go out and make programming guides just because I can make a website theme that uses 100% CSS, hell I don't even make CSS guides because I'm not going to be telling people shit they don't know for people who are interested. Or people who don't know will find a guide formed such as Paradise's to be lazy and un-informative and still leave someone who is looking for quality knowledge in a trash can just so she can stroke her ego and think she has a loyal fanbase because she can beat a handful of noobs at a computer game.

All in all, I would have left Thresh's Quake Bible alone and not try to write "Thresh's Quake Bible the new testament by some dumb bitch who can't hang with the big boys"

thats BuUULLsSSHIT!.

Shmack isn't the Pinnacle of highly elite Quakers, its the aftermath when the elite have left. Paradise is no acceptation to this. She isn't even middle Teir quality by today's standards in my book and that's being lenient compared to some others have said about her.

its my belief that the higher skilled Quake players don't spent their time on a RuneQuake server because on a RuneQuake server there's always something to even the playing field between "crap player1" and "decent player2" its a usually unfair balance however such as deathspots being spammed on teleporter destination markers which isn't exactly skill (I will say its smart however). But higher skilled players and probably lower skiller players see it as a cheap way to make a frag, not to mention the handful of other things within the mod that allows player1 to kill player2 by the simple stroke of a button.

Some see instant kill's as a skill, or say "You have to be skilled enough to avoid getting hit with instant kills" I personally say BuULLsSSHIT!! If you can't access the other half of the level to get frags because a noob figured out how to spawn deathspots in front of the teleporter, once aginst, not skill, but can be considered smart though cheap and feels desperate to me.

One of the things that I don't understand about Paradise is she is always talking about challenging herself and always using Quake 1 as a tool to enhance her skills. If she really obeyed what she preaches she would be on the hardest servers to win on constantly getting herass handed to her to help improve her game. Not sitting on RuneQuake racking up frags off of noobs who don't stand a chance, I find that pathetic and a cowards game.

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:37 am 
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Thanks Slot for obeying my request of its removal.

Remember guys, if you want it I can always send it to you via e-mail - when finished - read my "Farewell." thread for more info.

All you have to do is contact me in-game and ask nicely. 8)

Be good. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:10 am 
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Paradise wrote:
Thanks Slot for obeying my request of its removal.

Remember guys, if you want it I can always send it to you via e-mail - when finished - read my "Farewell." thread for more info.

All you have to do is contact me in-game and ask nicely. 8)

Be good. :)


Bye bye :)

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:04 am 
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as she rides off into the sunset I heard this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBlFh7P4MvU

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:40 am 
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hahahahahah....

you dumbass's actually read it?? a guide from a common cheat? PROVEN dumbass's!!!!

same people over and over again saying the same old shit. take 3 or 4 people off here and this site is empty.

I think phenon has taking Paradicks place on long useless post.


Please, post more stupid shit no one ever reads....I sure as hell didn't!!!

King Shit

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:09 am 
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Scoffer, are you sure you want to complain about people saying the same thing over and over?

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:27 pm 
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Scoffer wrote:
hahahahahah....

you dumbass's actually read it?? a guide from a common cheat? PROVEN dumbass's!!!!

same people over and over again saying the same old shit. take 3 or 4 people off here and this site is empty.

I think phenon has taking Paradicks place on long useless post.


Please, post more stupid shit no one ever reads....I sure as hell didn't!!!

King Shit


I'm not Paradise, boy, don't expect me to play your childish games. :)

Real kings don't have to remind everyone in every post. keep it up though, you personally do not phase me. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Paradise's Quake Guide
PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 10:32 am 
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i think scoffer likes Phenom, watch out Phenom... :shock:

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